From emptiness we develop a world in which the senses can rest.
Cohered back into a self
Rest in the truth of Erotic pleasure
Stay with the sensation
The wisdom of the body is revealed
Most of us are familiar with habituated pleasure. When we are hungry, we take pleasure from eating. When we are tired, we draw pleasure from rest. When we are tight, we discover the pleasure of a stretch. We access pleasure through maximizing our biologically programmed rewards, such as with food and security. An anxiety exists underneath the consumption with the question, "Is this all there is?" This kind of pleasure is mindless consumption in an attempt to provide comfort to numb or insulate from the emptiness we feel in our heart. We don't realize the heart is the source of our deepest pleasure, our homecoming.
Often, we only know habituated pleasure, and we consider it normal restoration. It can cover or soothe our sense of insufficiency. Existing at the level of biologically or socially conditioned constructs, habituated pleasure rewards us for meeting the criteria of our biological needs and our social codes.
The first issue with this is, in a sense, we are keeping ourselves comfortable in hell: the hell of avoiding the question, "Is this all there is?" We are merely rearranging furniture on the deck of a sinking ship. Another issue is that these types of pleasures offer diminishing returns, requiring us to work harder and harder to access pleasure while receiving less in return. We swim in circles and never find the true pleasure that comes with breaking free from the cycle.
For the most part, pleasure exists at the level of the mundane: sex, food, relaxation, and sleep. But it can also exist at the level of indulgence, with a kind of hedonism that focuses our attention on the surface layers of the body, since these are the ones that cannot be drawn further down. Our attention goes to any lengths to provide an endless stream of circumstances to fulfill our increasing demand for pleasure. This kind of indulgent pleasure is rooted in bigger, better, faster, more—yet there is never enough.
To know true Erotic pleasure is a vital art on the path of Eros. Following the extreme gradients of the other stages, pleasure can restore the senses, but to truly comprehend or practice the art of pleasure is rare.
Erotic pleasure is a replenishing force. It's an invitation to elevate the senses so they can respond to the incorruptible desire, not of mere biology, but of Eros. Eros will settle for nothing less than the spot. Erotic pleasure is a call to greatness and precision in the care and tending of our body, and it also removes the cause of our discomfort: our misunderstanding that the throb of our heart must be muffled because this is "as good as it gets."
We only discover true and enduring pleasure with a heart that has been revealed and exposed following the experiences of release and resolution. Only from the resulting emptiness, with the sensing apparatus now sufficiently cleaned, is our perception clear enough to point us toward the creative endeavor of developing a world in which the senses can rest. We recognize our senses cannot rest in opulence, but only in the beauty, richness, and elegance of simplicity.
The truth about beauty is it only occurs in the now. Resting in the truth of Erotic pleasure is what nurtures wisdom. Intellect, driving the mind, renunciation, or seeking for truth do not help here; only the mind that rests in pleasure, properly nourished, will naturally reveal the wisdom of the body. Our greatness is thus birthed, not from the strivings of the mind, but from the craft of pleasure. When the eyes rest and are not strained, they see better; the same is true of the inner eye.
In OM, we access this state through bread-and-butter, medium- pressure strokes, focusing solely on taking pleasure from either the finger or the clitoris. Through softening and receptivity, we learn to draw pleasure into ourselves. Pleasure isn't something we make, but something we allow to bathe us.
Pleasure requires precision in moving with. Given that a pleasure-based OM is a meandering OM, it moves at tempo giusto—the tempo in a piece of music that feels appropriate and ideal, considering the nature of the piece and the characteristics of the notes. When we move at the tempo the sensations themselves seem to request, we get to savor the pleasure to the fullest.
The key is for us to continue to move with the stroke. Otherwise, we may fall into a pleasure slumber, settling for a complacent, autopilot experience during which our attention turns passive. Erotic pleasure is active, whereas habituated pleasure is passive.
Passive attention leads to diminishing returns as a hardening sets in; pleasure becomes a right or a demand and we have a kind of "golden handcuffs" attitude where we become convinced things are good enough. Growth looks unattractive and we don't feel the impetus to change. Our attention is lax, and lax attention always carries with it a sense of dissatisfaction.
If we catch ourselves stuck in this location, we can interrupt the trance and put our attention directly on the dissatisfaction. This will add the contrast that brings pleasure back into the experience. After all, pleasure is made of contrast. The best foods are salty and sweet, and the best touch is strong and soft. We reawaken pleasure by un-fixating the mind from the preferential good.
When we enter the restoration stage in an OM, we feel as if we are filling up again. Energy is slowly building with a sweet, easy, predictable, nourishing feeling. If we are turned on, the experience feels relaxing and pleasurable as we immerse in the sensuous world more clearly and deeply than we have before. If we are turned off when we arrive in restoration, we don't want to move with the stroke; we want to stay in one location, so we try to slow down to maintain control. We have a resistance to going up.
The skills needed for OMing in restoration are drawing in, taking touch, and easing in with a bread-and-butter stroke. We learn to discern sensation again and to focus attention on the clitoris. The strokee makes requests. Developing a regular OM practice is important here.
When we stroke someone in restoration, we use gentle, simple strokes with lots of affirmation. We stroke to increase sensitivity, leaving the strokee higher than she was before. We stroke the spot with the most sensation and change the stroke at the peak. If the strokee is turned off, we under-stroke slightly so she can feel her desire. Responding to her requests builds her confidence. There may be a feeling of demand to stay in one spot, especially to avoid electricity, so we must be prepared to meet resistance with compassion. We are willing to remove our finger without punishment.
As the strokee, practicing OM as much as we want has us build the pool of pleasure that will nourish the senses. We relax and receive, and when we feel lost, we draw in. Remaining with the sensation keeps us from drifting into fantasy. We approve, request, confirm, and request again.
If we find we are turned off, we start by creating a beautiful nest. Describing the sensations aloud and vocalizing in connection with our genitals helps move us toward turn-on. We may stop OMing because we are practicing saying "yes" to preferences as a means of building a reservoir and filling up.
