Expression is the state of flourishing that occurs when we are thriving in the spot of our soul.
Performance is separated from power
Grow your intuition, train your mind
The art of reciprocity is developed
Thriving in the expression of your unique soul
The expression stage has the greatest delineation between its habituated and non-habituated forms. The habituated form is a display, which may feel familiar. It is, however, self-conscious rather than erotically conscious—misappropriating Eros and the charge of another person in order to ramp up a sense of power. But it is the opposite of power, because it is disconnected and self-referential. The circuit of power is operating in the mind between our appearance-based ideas.
In the habituated form, the man is often conditioned to focus on the woman's appearance, and the woman on how she is appearing. Insufficient power is flowing from below for our OM partner's attention not to collapse back on itself, or for both of our attention to collapse on each other, rather than landing on and locking into the connection between us. Because of this lack of connection, the Erotic mind falls into the trap of commerce. There is self, and there is other. There is a "doing for," a "being done to," and a "getting for myself."
The circuit is lacking between us that would absorb these distinctions and make the process simply a shared experience. Here, any contact made builds separation rather than dissolves it. A variety of experiences may show up in our OM due to this separation. Actions designed to please our partner become a common occurrence. The thought that we are being used by the other for their respective offering of finger or clitoris takes root.
A belief forms that we are entitled to having a certain experience we are not having. Or, maybe we are having it but it feels disconnected. We are using the other to fill a gap in ourselves. A feeling of not deserving forms, and we therefore think we owe the other, so we move to "doing for" energy to pay our perceived debt. We have an impersonal experience of the OM not "doing it" for us. Or we feel like it's too much for us, or is asking too much of us. This occurs when the connection has waned from the physical level of connection.
Any OM not connected at the level of Erotic essence will always present in one of these ways, and will always be the result of lack of power, which can only be accessed from a descent into the body. Because the mind has no real power in itself, it fears the body and must increase its story of separation in order to pump up sensation.
It's vital to note the degraded positions of feeling harmed or of harming, used or using, owed or owing, objectified or objectifying, ungratified or unable to be gratified (or some form abstracted to the impersonal until there is a foundational hopelessness), all invariably result from a lack of Erotic power. This leads to our feedback loop failing to extend to the essence of our partner, remaining locked in our mind.
As the stroker, we start out with an idealistic, seeming virtuosity. In our mind we want to please her, we want to do something for her. We want to offer ourselves to her. We get so much pleasure from her, we can't get enough of her, and we want to devour her. When she does something wonderful to us, we want to turn her on to the degree she turns us on.
In thought or in speech, these are concepts that seem to add to sensation. In reality, they separate and degrade the power of connection and are always limiting, because we are exchanging limited energy—from the limited resource of our mind. If the other person has more energy, our competitive mind feels shamed and has difficulty receiving. If they have less energy, our scarce mind feels robbed. If we have the same energy, both feel depleted by having to spend energy to "get nothing."
The end result is always the same: a sense of depletion that, after the initial relief, results in negative thought. This, in turn, is met with an attempt to get more, an aversion to that type of experience, or ignoring the feeling. What we would otherwise call connection can now scarcely be called contact.
In this phase we have narrowed our options down: the one thing that will bring gratification is the offering of ourselves to the Eros that lies between us and our partner. True connection can only occur inside the shared space of Eros, where the single question that exists is, how do we turn the lights on and experience that which can only happen when essence meets essence?
Both partners focus on their part in this endeavor, finding the reward in the doing. As strokers, we have an opportunity to train the mind to play the instrument of the body and hear its music. As strokees, we learn how to be played, where to hold the energy, where to open, and how to transmit the radiation of Eros.
Gratification comes internally, through learning the art of reciprocity and attuned feedback; the learning occurs as a reward in itself—the music of light both partners get to exist within.
This presence, the state of pure Eros resulting from the open-loop circuitry of two nervous systems locked in connection, is the holistic experience we are all seeking—the experience is of two human beings, each vertically connected, above in the ideal and below in power. The cycle is complete with enlightenment from above, mysticism from below, and humanity and heart in between; none of the three alone will gratify us—only the three in unison can.
With the three together, we find ourselves in eudaimonia, the state of human flourishing, occurring when we are thriving in our funktionslust as human beings, when we are doing what we are here to do. We find ourselves in a virtuous cycle: we receive more power, and in receiving more power we are able to connect more deeply with our purpose. In other words, living in our function, the "spot" of our soul, not only brings about a deep-seated sense of flourishing and unimaginable gratification, it also equips us to go more deeply into the spot to naturally and organically generate more of the same.
The key is a simple shift in focus, and this shift impacts everything. Instead of focusing on ourselves or the other, we focus on the connection in between us. We always respond there first. The sensation and lighting there will never lie; it will always instruct. The connection will not betray or deceive us. In the connection is a voice that arises and guides our response.
Some call this voice intuition. We find we are often unwilling to do anything for a finite being, but that we are willing to do anything for the infinite source that lies between us. As a result, we realize our potential and become who we wish to be.
The stage of expression in OM is marked by a lot of external expressions of Eros, ranging from flushing to contractions, from swelling to ejaculation. Uncontrollable sounds may be emitted, along with shuddering and shaking. We take great care, however, not to get lost in the appearance. If we are turned on, our emanation of expression is in equal proportion to what we are receiving and we feel aligned with Eros. If we are turned off in this stage, we have a sense of fearful incompetence. Our sense of power may be an overblown sense or we may feel like a fraud and fear being found out.
The ability to turn our stroker on from the strokee position is a skill that is relevant in the expression stage. Here, we also learn to allow Eros to fill the room. We avoid under-extension and over-extension.
When stroking someone in expression, we stroke to run the energy, using intention to add to whichever direction exhibits great intensity. An increase in feelings of desire, love, and lust may rise to the surface at this level but we don't personalize them. Noticing where vocalizations increase or where body tension increases and the underlying sensation decreases has us peak early. We ensure the stroking matches the underlying sensation.
If we are turned off, we may find ourselves focusing on appearance rather than connection, requiring us to continue to draw the attention back to connection. We take nothing personally, including the expression of delight or anger. Sexual thoughts may increase, threatening to pull us into focusing on our partner; however, avoiding this is important, as is maintaining focus on the sensation, without gripping to it as it moves through us.
As the strokee in expression, "letting it out" has us enjoy the expression. We OM in search of sensation, not effect. Frequent OMing helps us extend our capacity to be in high-intensity states without going over. If we are turned off, stiffening or hardening our body may be tempting but has the potential to evoke a demanding sensation. Volition is introduced here so we deliberately surrender at this time.
We make requests as the power goes up because the stroker may need the addition of voice. The essence of sexuality may enter, but we resist the temptation to parlay it into anything other than sensation.
