The opportunist friend is a more sophisticated version of the consumer friend but is not found until we have garnered some real power. This friend serves as a signifier of where we are on our path. The opportunist wants to help us with what we need, contribute, share their resources, be they in the form of skills or networks, and help give us access. They recognize us as one of the elite in our class and are interested in power by proximity.
We recognize the opportunist in that they are always sidling up to the top of the class, to the leader or the person in power. They are not interested in interacting with their peers, other than to gain access or use them to their advantage. They are only interested in the best, in who or what is at the very top.
This person wants power but is not willing to go through the rigors required to earn it. In fact, this is their dilemma. They have never touched the real thing for themselves, so their lives are a matter of performance. They either access conferred power from those who genuinely have it or they make a run for a leadership role in order to achieve their perception of power, which is in actuality a powerless authority. They may possibly be more articulate about a domain than those who have genuine power and facility inside it. Eventually, though, most of what they do in leadership roles crumbles as they lack the real power to sustain it.
Real power often occurs in the absolute, and those with real power like to stay close to the source. Those who have not touched it are only interested in power insofar as it will support their material goals. Because they do not have real power feeding them, they barter in the currency of the material, where looking good, smooth, and put-together is key. This is all to garner greater status, another important quality to maintain their superior position and bring more authority. The genuine messiness involved in developing real power is thus not interesting in the least to these people.
This person is all about reputation; what others think matters greatly to them, because that is their social collateral. They come into proximity when we are up, as we will add to their reputation when we're on the pedestal, when we have a following of admirers who believe we belong up there. They disappear when their reputation may be threatened by association with us, when we slip, when we're at half-mast, when our position in the hierarchy can no longer be confirmed. They may maintain some contact during storms in case we come back into power, as they want to ensure their position.
They may even come in at the point that a real threat looks to have been removed as a means of "buying low" and getting in on the comeback. Everything with them is a strategic move. They quite literally do not see the value of qualities like loyalty and sustained emotional support. This unpowered consciousness can only see what is convenient and self-serving. It is important to understand that it is not that this person will not show up, but that they literally cannot. When any intensity arises, they do not have the power to remain. It may feel like we have been betrayed or abandoned, but the truth is, this person is profoundly limited. We begin to see this through their emergent behavior.
They have not been touched by power in a way that would activate their underlying sense of truth, the truth that lies beneath the surface of stratagem, agenda, and survival-based "getting theirs." They must live their lives emulating power. They live a dry existence. While we may be experiencing true challenges, as living in power is an endless series of challenges, it's important to recognize there is no challenge greater than not knowing the truth of power for ourselves. The people who look the best, who have the most authority in the world, and who seem to have figured out the game in some way, can be so put together because they don't have a power inside of them that melts their persona down.
In terms of OM, this is the person who OMs with an agenda. This is the stroker who will stroke in order to make her feel some way to demonstrate his skill or prowess, ultimately in order to get something. This is the strokee who abuses the process in order to channel the OM into her conditioning, perhaps to be seen as attractive or alluring or to have him desire her. This behavior occurs because this person has never touched the real power of offering themself entirely over to an experience and recognizing that this is the only thing that will gratify. No one can concurrently "take" for their ego and offer themselves.
The only response to this friend is one of deep compassion and unmitigated care. This can be challenging. True power has very little reflection in the world with respect to its worth. The opportunist works very hard to not have us know our power, or to only know it with respect to them, so that we feel we need them and they can secure their job position.
They will respond with underwhelm, minimization, and suggestions for how we can improve in the face of our brilliance. We invariably feel smaller in their presence. Our primary feeling around them is one of self-doubt. We sit there with the jewels they want to commoditize, because they have none of their own, and we feel like the one with little worth. Unless, of course, we need them or we begin to move from their sway. Then they will offer their limited approval. Their approval will feel that much more powerful; we will think we must be very skilled to have managed to please a difficult customer. The truth is they make strategic moves, either to reward us for complying or to draw us back in when they fear losing us.
This friend is an absolutely vital friend as part of the initiation on the path and hopefully we will have several. Our work once we have garnered power from Eros is to be a guardian of that power—to recognize the value of what we hold and use it in service of the Erotic mind that seeks always for intimacy, and not for the tumescent mind that seeks for status of worldly things. At some point in the journey, most worldly things just seem burdensome. We will not be asked to renounce them, though. We will have a naturally arising sense that it is an unnecessarily heavy thing to carry. Should we never experience this, Eros will not punish us in the least.
The most targeted gift this friend brings into relief is where we still allow worldly authority to define us and determine our worth. To not live in torment with this person requires great practice, some of the most challenging there is. This is because it requires us to admit and honor the value of our power. If we fail to do so, we are at the mercy of the fear-based world. If we do, we remain unmoved by the actions of this person. If we truly own our power, we are blessed with tremendous compassion for this person. We learn to see them clearly.
At the same time, we do not overestimate our power. We do not have the power to make them feel the real thing. This is humbling. We have tremendous power, but that power does not extend to affecting what another can know. That is between them and Eros. They may be able to pretend they have wholly offered themselves to Eros and have thus touched it; they may be able to articulate the experience far better than us. But in truth we will know. We will know if they have touched it by the outpouring and generosity of their actions, by their stability of attention regardless of the pressure, and by their willingness to break through the wall of pride they live behind and touch us directly.
What is funny about this friend is that they are consistently looking for the payoff, and what they are here to teach us is to relate to a human being who is only interested in what they can get from us, with the recognition that they have nothing to offer us. Their skills are likely of very little use because they are not powered and will lack vision or die out. Their friendship is spotty at best as they show up only for the good times, and their resources come at a commoditized price that makes them not worth it.
The moment we realize the opportunist friend has nothing to offer us is the moment we are living in true intimacy with Eros. At this point, we honor that all we desire comes from Eros. The task is to recognize that we may never know this person as a fellow who shares a common experience, that they live with limited resources and will likely be scamming to take from us, and that they have nothing to offer. In the face of that, we live with care and generosity to make their world as comfortable a place as we can without selling out on Eros. When we do this, we are doing the true work that Eros asks of us.