One of the many gifts OM provides us with is a pristine reflection of where we are in our practice. When we are honest with what we are perceiving, we can discern through OM how we use our attention in any given situation.
In a single OM, we are able to travel through any number of landscapes of experience and observe how we respond to them. We see where we feel steady and alert, where we get stuck, where we have optionality, where we become rigid, where we feel irritated and reactive, where we feel easeful and flowing, where we withdraw, and where we become aggressive. OM allows us to see in great detail where we have learned to harness the power of our attention, and where we have not yet harnessed it. OM shows us how we operate with ourselves and others, as well as how we navigate the sensations of life.
The Advancements of Attention illustrate the progression of how we can use our attention, and what might be needed for us to reach the next level.
Our attention is passive and easily distracted, but there is an underlying, quiet inclination toward connection. More attention is spent on internal dialogue than actually feeling the stroke. Staying connected requires great attention.
As we begin to feel the point of connection, we feel a flicker or buzz of electricity in our finger. Our desire to feel is slightly stronger than our fear of pain, and fear of pain keeps us from entering into the realm of the Erotic. Latent fears may arise, but we become aware of how much Eros we have.
Some common thoughts enter at this level and can hinder us. We may hear a voice of fear that feels powerless saying, I’m just being used for my finger. I’m never going to get this right. I’m never going to get mine. Or, a voice that is afraid it cannot please might say, I’ll never be able to find a stroke she will enjoy. I can’t make her happy. Or, a voice of fear that believes there is a scarcity of goodness for them might say, I don’t care about the container or what she says. I’m going to make her like my stroke. Greed sets in, and we go faster and more intensely than the energy of the OM itself.
As we feel an incontrovertible electricity in our finger, we can now rely on our ability to locate the spot. We feel a distinct difference between on and off. Our attention shifts from performing to feeling as we begin to relax into the stroke.
We learn to allow electricity to move through our finger, as though the finger is being moved. Having discovered the point of electricity in the clitoris, we develop and adequately sustain enough connection that electricity activates equally in the stroker and the strokee. A feedback loop develops, forming a circuit, the first place where we feel the involuntary.
The direction of the stroke is no longer determined by our preferences, and we do not decide which strokes our body receives with gusto. We are moved instead by where the most sensation is, and because we are moved by the most sensation, an uprooting occurs. We can locate where we are, even in seeming groundlessness, and we have the confidence to face our fear that we ourselves are not doing the moving or responding. A deeper thing is moving through us; the feelings are more natural. We begin to open our spot.
As our finger rests on the clitoris so the spot opens, we develop the ability to add power to our attention. The attention now becomes stabilized in an active position and is strong and supple, enabling each stroke to be distinctly and clearly felt. This state is where we are awake and have volition, which requires our active attention to remain “on” the whole time. We begin to feel every single stroke.
We don’t feel resistance to any stroke. A marked experience of effortlessness as well as a dynamism feeds our capacity to stay connected with any stroke’s direction, speed, or pressure. In the face of increased intensity and subtlety, our attention remains steady. We don’t get stuck on opening a single spot. We begin to volitionally open other spots, allowing what feels good to open.
We learn to transmit and take in energy from all. The attention has been purified to the extent it is transparent without being pushed or pulled. We begin to stroke back with our clitoris. It becomes impossible to tell whether the clitoris is stroking the finger or the finger is stroking the clitoris: union and stillness—union in an untested way.
The Erotic state is now defined as a state of consciousness marked by a sense of connection or intimacy with all things. It begins with the original Erotic impulse, followed by the full activation of this impulse, and then the unimpeded opening of the involuntary. Consciousness can now surrender to the body, and a true OM begins.
