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Responses to Loss Of Innocence

Published May, 2024

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The sweet spot between hunger and apprehension is what we seek and what we avoid. Our memories of “good” can always be traced back to this dynamic tension.

— What we forget is that while in this sweet spot, simultaneously, another aspect exists within us struggling to lock it down, to secure it, to put an end to the newness, to know for certain. —

It is the pith of the Erotic path to make this place our home. It is a home we can venture from but also the place we return to. The mind that does not know is essential to knowing. It is a mind without a permanent imprint; its nature is to refresh in order to clear and allow the impression of the current moment to enter and play upon it.

Receptive Mind

Only when the information offered in this moment is received wholly and completely without the residue of doubt, old memories, confusion, or tugs and pulls left behind, are we able to accurately read and respond to what is presented. It is important to know that we can switch over from the rational mind to this mind permanently. That this mind can be our primary reference. This mind can include the rational as a subset, whereas the rational mind cannot include this one. 

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Leaving Newness

And what if we want to leave the experience of newness? This is an option. However, we might want to know ahead of time that leaving newness carries with it an additional pull. To leave newness for the known presents as relief. It will go something like this: We allow the hunger side of the mind to pull us more than the apprehension side, and it will pull us right out of newness and into the next stage.

Affinity & Aversion

We let ourselves be moved by our affinity or aversion to a certain flavor, which we label “negative” or “positive.”

— This results in an impediment to release, as the space that would be available for the next moment is now occupied. —

In the next phase, there is an overlay on the experience that makes it more saturated. We are now seeing through the colored filter of affinity or aversion. Something has been added to the lens of innocence that we experience as positive, negative, or unimportant. Here, the feeling is a mixture of relief and disappointment.

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Reduced Openness

We have “come down” a bit and our perspective is more fixed, less expansive. Things seem more reliable and we feel more grounded in it. That feels good. But openness and spaciousness are reduced. We still have the choice to return back to openness and innocence, but that would require engagement on our part, whereas allowing ourselves to be pulled in this direction is effortless. We have less optionality here because there is a pull. We cannot effortlessly look out and take it all in. It requires some effort to not be pulled or pushed, and it requires some effort to ignore. If we do not apply effort here, we are likely to be pulled out further.

Emotional Gravity

— That positive, negative, or neutral charge now births into a thought form: “I like it” or “I don’t like it” or “I don’t care.” Emotions begin to form around it like sadness, anger, and happiness. —

We’ve come down even further and there is greater density at this point. The thoughts and emotions feel “real” and bring with them an authority and an injunction to act.

In reality, it is a collection of like energies collected, but the density gives the sense that they have power. This sweet spot is a feathered edge. It’s where our optionality and volition dilate and constrict. Where we feel the push and pull into and out of our unknowing. Where the gravitational tug of emotions and thoughts draws us in then consumes us, and where we can sense most clearly the movement into and out of the presence of Eros.

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Related Sutras:

Sutra 44 | Graciously Open and Surrender Your Rules

Sutra 46 | Returning to Innocence Is Optionality

Sutra 86 | Expose Innocence

Related Post:

Feminist Movements and the Influence of Feminine Spirituality

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