As hard as it may be for our overstimulated minds to believe, there is more sensation in any one stroke than almost any mind can fully receive. Our minds are so full that they cannot take much life in and, as a way of compensating, continue to ingest.
The solution to this type of sensory starvation—which drives rejection, grasping, and checking out—is to learn to "taste this bite," to feel this stroke, just as it is. This is a fundamentally different approach from the type of poor sensory nourishment we experience when we are both stuffed and starving because our calories are sensory-empty.
This state may occur as a blank wall of sensation. Here, we start by finding one thing—anything—we can sense, good or bad. We may notice a buzz, or a feeling of heat, or a sharpness, or a brightness. We allow our attention to connect with whatever we notice, and when we do, we discover that whatever we place our attention on grows.
To merely sense is challenging at first. A flood of judgments will want to enter and drown out the sensation; the key is to continue to return to the sensation. If we have to track this mentally—hot, soft, dark, electric—then we should do so. Continue to collect the attention there.
We are communicating with our body, perhaps for the first time, showing it what it has to say is important, we are willing to learn its language, and we won't tune it out. We are willing to learn, sensory note by sensory note, until we have a full sensory vocabulary, until we become fluent, and then until we can communicate in the poetry or music of the body.
It all starts with this stroke. Everyone has at least one sensation that they can tune in to. The mind will want to continue its oblivion, like hearing a foreign language in the background that would take too much effort to tune in to. Still, we continue to immerse ourselves in the conversation and turn up our listening. All we need is one spark of sensation to build an entire Erotic mind.
We notice a magnetism to the sensation, and that there is a way we can move the mind to where it either fades or deepens. As we continue moving to where it deepens in each moment and with each stroke, the connection becomes stronger. The power pulsing through the connection between the spot and the mind grows clearer, burning off any debris in the line.
This is all we do: find a spot of sensation, note where it gets stronger and where it fades, then move toward where it gets stronger. It is never more complex or nuanced than that. Through this process, the mind becomes trained to follow sensation and, in turn, to follow Erotic truth. This will lead to greater intimacy.
