The tumescent mind is trained to see and respond to scarcity. It doesn’t have a way to measure fullness. It is locked into fundamental starvation for two reasons.
The first reason is that, for the most part, we are all deprived of the vitality inherent to the Erotic. Life at the level of art, where the senses reign and lead us into the clean nourishment of excellence, can only be achieved through the Erotic, not the rational mind. The rational may allow us to develop technique in our nourishment, but it cannot fill us.
We continue to consume, always hungry for this nutrient, but we survive on empty calories—even if they are well-prepared empty calories. Fulfillment comes from the dimension of the Erotic—that ineffable life force that is not merely high quality, but something that changes and illuminates us.
The second reason is that habituated starvation over time activates the tumescent mind. The primary communication becomes to consume as much as possible, whenever and however possible, and whenever it is available. This impulse is felt more strongly than the “full” feeling because it is tied to survival.
So, when we do finally allow ourselves to sink into Eros, we almost always—at first—go past the point that is healthy. This is where artists destroy their lives, or where sex runs amok, or where disembodied spiritual people reject worldly pleasures and responsibilities.
Hunger plus starvation impulses keep driving and there is no gauge to tell us when we have consumed too much, yet we know we are uncomfortable so we consume even more to cover the discomfort. The only solutions tumescence can offer are endless consumption or the complementary pole of restriction, which in the long run creates further starvation.
We go back and forth on this pendulum. We then operate in this generalized pattern of hunger, consumption, feeling stuffed, restricting or continuing to consume, crashing, and starting the cycle again.
