To create a strong "we," the other needs to know:
We are not going to run or use legalistic means to either avoid accountability or avoid conversations. We are going to be responsible for our resentment and how we work with it such that others can rely on us to manage it. Resentment is never a justification for poor behavior. We will spend the time to get the full spectrum of information and engage deeply in the process of building the culture before voicing an opinion. We have a sense of loyalty that inspires us to protect our shared resources.
We will make it our responsibility to understand and tend to the inner workings of our culture and not simply rely on others. We will not use our "weaknesses" as an excuse to avoid participation. We will operate at full capacity, whatever that capacity is.
We will know our boundaries and hold them with kindness and without reactivity. Our yes means yes and our no means no and we know the difference. Whenever and wherever possible, we will back the actions of serving and protecting our culture, and where we cannot, we will work as an ally to improve it. We are either deliberately supporting or improving; we are not taking and complaining.
We drive our anger into building the new rather than tearing down the old.
We do the consistent daily actions that demonstrate we have the maturity that, should there ever be a rift, we would not harm those around us—be it our ex-partner or our community. We are an adult and have the option of coming and going wherever we are.
We agree to bring the whole of us so that intimacy is possible—not just propriety or appropriateness, but also not just emotion and personal expression. A balance.
We will not accept shared resources behind closed doors while outside those doors, denying the source of our power and taking all the credit. We agree to not garner personal benefit by bypassing the agreements of the culture that we garner benefit from.
We agree to operate with the collective in order to ensure the training of and access to benefits of all people within the culture, and forgo the idea of coming to power at the expense of anyone else. Any power cultivated is only true power if it spills over to others.
We agree that part of building a strong group identity—one which organically repels what does not belong and attracts what does—is that the identity is so congruent there is no need to protect or defend.
We agree to be part of developing a strong currency where the fundamental baseline is that members have what they need and that should they desire to build more, those opportunities are there.
We agree to make the people around us great by doing the work to know precisely who we are and how we operate, and then, how to draw the best from people around us.
