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Fears We Have About Desire

Published May, 2024

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In our efforts to align and be moved by this dynamic side of the profound, fears may naturally arise. Fear is always borne of the unknown and desire always draws us toward it. The two can have a tumultuous relationship that can nonetheless be converted into even greater access, provided we know how to

— harness the horsepower of fear to drive desire rather than allow ourselves to be derailed by an unguided force. —

When harnessed, fear becomes the servant of desire rather than the guardian. The first step is to know and name the methods. We may dismiss the voice as untrustworthy and thus alienate ourselves from it, usually because we fear it’s asking too much of us. 


overcoming fear

Or, we develop an immune response to desire based on an unwillingness to dissolve a delusion of unconscious unworthiness. This delusion is most often held in place by a scarcity consciousness that operates according to a limited notion of who we are, what resources are available, and what we are here to do.

— We believe we must pay for our enjoyment in kind rather than through the reception and acknowledgment of what we receive—tit-for-tat consciousness. —

This leads to us rejecting what our desire has drawn to us upon entry, not wanting to pay a bill we don’t even owe for. 

Reception and Appreciation

The underlying reason is that reception and appreciation come from our involuntary self. Reception and appreciation are not performative.We have to give of ourselves rather than merely act out a transaction. Invariably, a gap exists between the substitute compass laid upon us by our culture and upbringing, and the true north of our yearnings. 

Conflict of Desire

If our path is to become ever more who we are until we realize ourselves as one with all, the desire buried within us will invariably rub against the “one-size-fits-all” programs the external world puts upon us. In a world that exalts the rigidity of self-will and control, desire occurs as inherently threatening. Destabilizing by its very nature, the fact that desire wants to move a being into motion who wants to settle into comfort can present as overwhelm. But it is not the desire that is overwhelming. Rather, it is the emergence of desire in the face of a mind trying to maintain a fixed reality. This turns desire into temptation, as if desire for something is actually a signifier it should be avoided. 

— We fear that opening desire will unleash the floodgates of hunger and appetite. —

Fear of Instability

We’re afraid we’ll become insatiable and hedonistic; that once we start, we will never get filled. To try to manage this fear, we pick a substitute desire that feels safer, but then still end up going for the real thing later because we created a craving by denying it in the first place. This leads to the swinging pendulum of deprivation and indulgence.

Buy The Eros Sutras Vol. 1 Here

Related Sutras:

Sutra 07 | Desire Uses Us

Sutra 13 | Duty and Desire

Sutra 17 | Trying to Control Desire

Related Post:

Feminine Spirituality and Intimacy

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