Having gone through this process of presenting machination after machination, the strokee often exhausts herself and, if she is still unwilling to surrender to the body, will feel powerless and come into the OM looking for power. We must remain alert so we don’t fall into the role of rescuer and try to “save her from her pain.” We may notice we feel powerful, as if we could somehow save another person from their wrestle with their own life.
Nothing will save her from her pain other than her surrender to her own body. In fact, everything else, including the idea of saving her, will only prolong and contribute to her pain. Rather than the sensation radiating out in the Erotic state, it will—in its diminished or low-power form—come out through angst, tightness, grief, or tears.
In the face of this, we must focus only on the sensation between the finger and the clitoris; if we focus on ourselves, we may become puffed up as we seek to help or save her, and if we focus on the strokee, we become drawn out of our center into pitying a perfectly capable woman. It is key to remember the strokee is absolutely capable of making the choice to offer her consciousness over to her body. She is in no way broken or incapable. Her discomfort is a result of a choice she has made, not a misfortune she experiences.
In order to exaggerate our own sense that we are needed and capable, our savior identity may fool us into believing the strokee really is incapable. We must not fall for this trap. If we do, her primary means of accessing our attention will be by becoming ever more powerless as we work harder and harder to “fix” something that cannot be fixed— because it was never broken in the first place. If we tip off our center and buy her incapability, we will feel at the mercy of her powerlessness or we may judge her for it.
Instead, we must stay in the middle, at the point of sensation. This burns out our own tendency to tip to either side. It’s possible that when she sees we will not tip, she will choose to drop into her body, where inexhaustible power awaits her.