Surrender is the most powerful gift of the feminine. What she surrenders to, she owns. When she surrenders, she becomes like water; she has a power that can receive any force. If a truck drives into a pond, which is more powerful: the machine or the water? Surrender is the capacity to draw anything into her sway and give herself to it. When she surrenders to another, she gets the most direct experience of who they are—their intention and what they are capable of. She knows experientially, not in theory, and in a way that cannot be faked. It is the ultimate power—X-ray vision into another's soul.
In surrender, she is more than just moved, she can receive the transmission of information she would otherwise be unable to access. When she surrenders her nervous system to another's, she can sync with theirs in such a way that she learns by felt-sense how they work.
She must choose to give herself over. If she does not actually choose then she is not surrendering; she is merely accommodating in order to appease another's ego—so they will give her something, or so she can feel superior to them. It is a feminine form of arrogance to demand less of others than she demands of herself, to view herself as having a gift or privilege, and, as a result, make excuses for why she is able to and others are not able to operate from a higher code of behavior. When she does this, she winds up making herself smaller to accommodate their poor behavior.
What she accesses through surrender cannot be faked, but it also cannot be stopped. She draws it in from another. What she accesses from accommodation through habituation requires greater and greater effort with diminishing returns while never actually gratifying. The gift of surrender is surrender. It brings her down into her body, into power, but also into the unknown. This is what she is actually looking for when she is accommodating. Accommodation is the cheapened mimic of surrender. It spends rather than generates energy and will never nourish her true desire for surrender.
The challenge is that many women have taken on the mantle of masculine power based on independence and self-reliance. But a woman's power is accessed through—not in spite of—connection. A realized woman lives in the surrendered state, receiving phenomena, converting them into love, and sending them back out. This requires she relinquish control, opening further rather than orchestrating more. It is the antithesis of what most women are trained to do and be.
The truth that women's power brings to the table is that to reach the most realized states, women need others. Women need connection. As a result, there is humility in woman's power. Woman's power says, "I cannot be powerful without you. All power is a result of relationship." No one can let go into surrender without a counter pole. So while women often want power in spite of that connectedness, attaining it is impossible.
In the same way the body cannot relinquish control without another human—people can't tickle themselves—neither can the mind. The body needs this experience so much that, if necessary, it will override its systems of control in order to get it. This will occur as an explosion rather than a pleasurable offering. When she has consistent power flowing through her, there is a sense of resilience that can afford to deliberately choose to surrender rather than "surrender by force."