I don’t really remember how I found Orgasmic Meditation. But I certainly remember my first OM. I felt absolutely nothing in my genitals. It was like there was nothing going on. There was no arousal or anything, which is really strange because I didn't usually experience that.
Where did that sensitivity go? I experienced a lot of trauma from childhood stuff, and I knew those things tended to reinforce each other and get locked away in the body. As an adult training to be an actor, I searched for various kinds of therapy and bodywork. I did dance and voice work.
When I heard about Orgasmic Meditation, I was curious about the practice and felt it would be beneficial …which takes me back to that first OM (Orgasmic Meditation) session. I did everything that I was instructed to do and felt absolutely nothing. But what was really astounding was that after the OM, I went into convulsive sobbing. I had this huge emotional release, which I couldn’t explain. It was clear that something had shifted really deeply.
I figured it was a trauma release because, during my acting training and taking singing lessons, the same thing had happened to me. I struggled to hit a particular note, and my singing teacher would point to my gut and say, “You're holding something there.” Then, we’d consciously work to release that tension in my gut, and the note would come. Within seconds of hitting that note, I'd be in tears, or I’d burst out laughing or something. There would be an emotional release that came with it. So, when the same thing happened to me in that first OM, I knew what was going on and that it was really healthy.
That kind of release never happened again, but gradually, I became more and more responsive to the practice. I would regularly experience very powerful electricity and stuff going on, and I wanted to understand it. I wanted to get my head around it. I wanted it to be replicable so that it was useful to me. As you can tell, I’m rather intellectual!
I’m also what I would call a strong woman. I'm an active person. So, the whole idea in Orgasmic Meditation that you just have to relax completely and let things happen was always anathema to me. But almost despite myself, I started allowing myself just to relax and not expect anything of myself. I got to the place where I wasn't looking to feel anything in particular and didn’t even try particularly hard to tune in. I just started letting go, thinking, Okay, if I fall asleep, I fall asleep, and that's fine, too. And I just started having these rolling, ongoing, amazing orgasms, just wave upon wave upon wave. It was extraordinary and so unexpected. It was amazing to be hitting my 50th year and learning something new about my body!
