I wanted to find some purpose in my life and decided to travel. I ended up in Thailand, studying Buddhist meditation. At my first silent retreat, I felt I had found what I was looking for. I had a sense of coming home. That feeling was so precious that I spent the next six years studying at the meditation center. Then I met a girl. We couldn’t be together at the monastery, so we eventually moved to Australia. When I took a job in the visual effects industry in Los Angeles, my girlfriend and I moved to the United States.
Despite the new career and all the opportunities it afforded me, I began to miss the contentment I had found at the meditation center. While searching for ways to bring meditation and business together, I found information about Orgasmic Meditation. I was both curious and perplexed. It sounded strange to do such intimate work with someone you weren't necessarily in a relationship with. By now, my girlfriend and I were married, and we tried OMing together a few times. It didn't suit her, and she didn't want me to OM with other people. So, we both dropped the practice.
After we separated, I decided to investigate OM - Orgasmic Meditation again. At first, I felt nervous about asking women to OM with me. I was afraid of being rejected. But then, it felt beautiful to receive yeses, especially when women wanted to OM with me more than once. I felt appreciated for the qualities I brought to the sessions. When I started OMing again, I felt nervous, not wanting to do anything wrong. The Orgasmic Meditation—OM container, with its specific steps and rules, gave an almost ritual structure that helped me feel at ease. It felt like a self-contained experience; we didn't need anything else afterward to complete it.
I went on to have several OMs every week. Unlike sex, Orgasmic Meditation keeps the dynamic between two people to a minimum. We're each going deeply into our own experience. There's something precious and intimate about witnessing my OM partner fully surrendering to her feelings and being comfortable with me being there.
At points when there was no sensation or when there was calmness, I would notice tension in my belly. It was coming from the sense that I needed to perform, that I needed to create pleasure. Speeding up and trying to make another exciting moment happen was tempting. Instead, I learned to slow down and soften the tension, to come back to the moment, just being with each other, being with the stroking, and seeing that we didn't have to go anywhere. The man also has to surrender to maintain the connection. It's like brushing away sand to see the structure rather than forcing some structure into existence. We are both discovering that spot of connection between us.
The lessons from OM - Orgasmic Meditation affect the rest of my life. I take things less personally than I used to. If I've written to someone, and I notice their response being cold or impersonal, I used to decide they didn't like me anymore and worry I had done something wrong or that I was a bad person. Now I think, Ah, there was a stroke that didn't work. What does this person need instead? What adjustments could I make to return to the point of contact to lead to more openings? I realize we need to adjust to our differences as humans.
I also have discovered the usefulness of having pristine containers, especially when I ask for something I want. If I tell someone, “Let's chat,” I probably won't get much of a response at work. Whereas, if I say, “Can the two of us talk for fifteen minutes about this topic?” we're more likely to have a productive meeting. The structure of the container makes it safer and more relaxing for everybody involved.
OM—Orgasmic Meditation is a simple practice with a narrow focus, but the dynamics of an OM session represent so many parts of life. When I can navigate and surrender to the micro-world of an OM, I can replicate those behaviors in the bigger versions of those moments that happen in the outside world. Orgasmic Meditation brings more attunement to my life.
