When I was young, I was mostly homeschooled. So, socially, I was a bit inept. My parents and I traveled across the United States from age seven to about nine. We lived in Alaska for a while, and I remember the trees were my friends. I didn't connect with people because we were always driving and moving. I remember after I started OMing, it was about three years before I knew it was okay to go up to a strange woman and start talking to her. My social skills with women were just horrid. I had no confidence. Nothing.
I found Orgasmic Meditation when a buddy in San Francisco told me about a seminar a quarter mile from my house in Los Angeles. He highly recommended it, and I said, “Sure. Why not?” I didn't know a thing about Orgasmic Meditation (OM). I met the woman who was giving the talk in the elevator on our way up. In that five-second chat, I fell in love with her personality. So, I was intrigued before we even started. My first OM was six years ago, but I remember thinking, “Wow, this is amazing. This is awesome. We don’t have to have sex. I don't have to take her out to dinner. It isn't about romance. It’s just about the moment of contact and connection.”
I remember how my breath and whole being downshifted into a slow steadiness. In the moment, it felt complicated, and I was sweaty and worried, thinking, “Am I doing it right? Am I doing it too hard? Do I need an adjustment?” My brain was rattling. But once I got past the rattling part, underneath it all, it felt peaceful, like a lake that's smooth as glass … super smooth and super easy. There was no stress. It was all about being in the moment.
The next day, I was so turned on that I remember being on the freeway, and my car felt huge. I felt like Superman. I felt I could lift cars up with all the energy my body felt. And I kept noticing things I’d never noticed before. I looked at the roses and saw how red and vibrant they were. It was like taking everything and putting it under a microscope, looking at it, studying it, and enjoying what it had to offer for the first time.
My Orgasmic Meditation (OM) practice taught me to listen to other people's inner voices… slow down, and sense what’s really going on with them. When I’m stroking. I like to go slow. If I go quickly, I'm not going to feel the electricity. I’ll miss the power zipping to the left or the right. I’ll slide off the spot. The slower I go, the longer I get to be on the spot where the most sensation hits my finger, transmitting information through my body.
Orgasmic Meditation has not only taught me patience but also compassion for myself. It’s a real challenge to stay in the right spot. I have to relax and breathe deeply to be in the zone, touch my partner in a way that works for her, and not get down on myself if I mess up. And I have to be okay with adjustments. And I am! One of the greatest things about OM is calling for an adjustment.
One of the amazing things about Orgasmic Meditation is that it prepares you for anything. You never know what's going to happen next in an OM. It's such a moment-by-moment practice of change. One moment, I feel like I'm underneath a dam, and water is crashing down. Then, all of a sudden, I'll feel like a rocket ship heading to Mars. Not knowing what's next and experiencing it in my body and mind is fascinating without analyzing or judging.
In my relationships, there's depth and quality of attention, connecting with the person, looking them right in the eye, saying what is what, and ensuring that my delivery is clear. I don’t let the person or the moment go until I’m sure everything has been said, and there is completion … that everyone is getting what they need. I'm a different person than I was before Orgasmic Meditation. I am patient and clear, listen, and pay focused attention to detail. I know how to talk to people. I’m not that awkward, socially backward young man from Alaska anymore!
