When I saw the clip of what Orgasmic Meditation was like -- a friend had sent it to me -- I sobbed. I broke down, my tears coming from a very deep place. I watched it three times in a row and cried each time. I longed for that kind of intimacy as if at 54, I was finally seeing what I had wanted all my life and never knew I’d needed. Even now, I can feel that aching in my body. I saw something I wanted and wasn’t sure how to get it, but I knew I had to look for it. I’d had no clue where to look for so long, but now it was in front of me. I remember thinking that people do this. Part of me was aghast, but most of me was drawn in. And the sobbing was my sign that this was real, and I had to act.
My first OM (Orgasmic Meditation) brought up a lot of old stuff. I was nervous about the whole process, and when it started, I went on autopilot for a moment. I was straining to figure out if I was doing it right. And then, within the first couple of minutes, I could let go of that. I focused on the sensation of where his finger was. I’m a strong woman; I don’t have a problem saying “higher” or “a little to the right.”
I started to get shots of color and tingling. I’m a cerebral person, and I can get lost in my head very easily. Starting with the first OM and growing with each subsequent one, I could feel myself being brought back into my body. It wasn’t an orgasm itself I wanted; it was the vibration that aligned my whole body so that my heart and my head weren’t closed off from each other. Maybe it’s because of all the bodywork I’ve done before, but that was and is the greatest payoff of Orgasmic Meditation – this way, it aligns you with yourself and everyone else.
I wasn’t expecting Orgasmic Meditation to change my relationship with my son and daughter. I’ve always loved them, and I believe I loved them unconditionally. The difference is that now I feel this incredible warmth and expansion toward them, manifesting as an acceptance they can feel.
My son was very heavy for a long time, and that bothered me. I’m a petite health coach, and he was over 300 pounds at one point. He ate very poorly. And I nagged him; I thought I was doing it for his health, but the reality is that I was partly doing it because I thought he reflected poorly on me. We had some epic battles until I got to the point, thanks to my OM (Orgasmic Meditation) practice, that it hit me: all he wanted was my total acceptance. He needed me to love him as much when he was overweight as I would when he was fit, and he needed to feel that love. It wasn’t that OM opened my eyes to the fact that I needed to accept my son; it wasn’t an intellectual thing. That acceptance radiated from inside me because of Orgasmic Meditation, and my son felt it.
I stopped nagging. I started letting him be. And he ended up making a big shift and losing over 100 pounds. He couldn’t have done that if he were doing it for me. He had to know I embraced him equally, no matter what.
My daughter is gay. She came out of college, and of course, I accepted her. Again, though, she could feel something lacking about that acceptance. Maybe it was just a worry or confusion on my part – that sense that maybe it was “something I did” that made her a lesbian. Intellectually, I had no problem with a gay daughter; deep inside, I probably did. And as with my son’s weight, the radical acceptance of my daughter as perfect, just as she is, only came about when Orgasmic Meditation shifted something deep in me. Now I look at this great, voluptuous, strong woman and admire and respect her with every fiber of my being. She can feel it, too. It’s made our relationship dynamics so much closer.
I’m in the early stages of a relationship right now. It feels different; I’m not choosing a man because he chose me. I’m rooted in myself, connected to my body, and far more clear about who I am now. I won’t say that clarity always makes everything better; life isn’t endless sunshine and roses. But I have a truth I’m always tapped into and willing to follow. That’s an incredible thing for someone like me to have.
