I was born in India and was introduced to meditative practices early in my life. For my family in particular, and my culture in general, learning to focus and have a clear mind were very important goals. At the same time, academics were even more important. Nothing was more vital to my parents than getting good grades so I could get a good degree, and all of that would lead to a stable, high-paying job.
I spent my teens and my 20s focused single-mindedly on external success, determined to impress others with my achievements. I did reach my goals but at a great cost to myself and my relationships. As I grew older, I realized that all of that emphasis on meditation and self-centering was really just meant to be a tool to make me more successful in school and business, not necessarily to make me calmer or happier. People found me rigid. I had thought I was open-minded, but it turned out that my understanding of open-mindedness was limited. I had thought it enough to be able to listen to everyone’s opinions and accept what they were saying – outwardly. On the inside, though, I was very judgmental of those who led a different life than I did.
I came to Orgasmic Meditation (OM) looking for like-minded people. I was also deeply yearning to meet a woman with a mindset I could connect with. In hindsight, I had a rather limited view of what I wanted, but I knew that mental and spiritual connections were more important than appearances. Something about the way that Orgasmic Meditation combined the erotic and the meditative gave me hope that I might find it.
My first OM was such an incredible sensory overload. On the one hand, I remember struggling to find a comfortable position, and my foot fell asleep. On the other hand, there was an elation, this wonder at doing something so intimate with someone I had just met. As I continued to stroke, however, all of those thoughts began to be replaced with a sense of peace. I’d been around a lot of meditative practices. Still, the container that Orgasmic Meditation (OM) creates, where there are no expectations and all communication is so deftly handled – I’d never been around anything like this. I felt as if I was holding space as a stroker, and then I started to feel that the woman and I were both being held by the practice itself. It was incredibly comforting.
Everyone has a different experience, and I think it’s important to stress that. So many strokers described feeling electricity and buzzing on the tips of their fingers, and I never felt anything like that. For a while, I wondered what I was doing wrong that my own finger didn’t seem to come alive like theirs did. What I realized, though, was that I was experiencing all this energy and warmth in my diaphragm and my gut, and these senses of internal heat and calm were more beneficial anyway. It wasn’t about having the exact same set of sensations everyone else had; it was about my own process. Because I came from a background in meditation, I could see how much more intense and healing OM - Orgasmic Meditation was compared to anything else I had tried.
I remember going on a weekend retreat with people studying Orgasmic Meditation (OM). We took a long bus ride into the mountains, and by the time we were all ready to practice, it was late, and many of us were sleepy. I remember building an OM nest in my cabin. I felt a deep sense of connection with the woman I was stroking even before we started. At some point in the OM, it hit me that I also felt connected to everyone else in my life. I felt a true openness I had never really had, where I could radically accept everyone else and be certain I was accepted. It was like watching all my old feelings of separation and judgment slough off my skin. I belong here, I realized; this is my practice, and this is my place.
In some ways, Orgasmic Meditation (OM) has made my professional work more difficult. I mean that in a good way, though. Before OM, I was so one-dimensional and focused on achievement. I was probably a workaholic and was certainly single-minded about creating success for myself. Orgasmic Meditation has reshaped my own drives and made me look for more connected, open, warm working environments. I’m much more collaboratively focused, and collaboration is sometimes messier than trying to do it all on one’s own.
My colleagues who remember me before I came to OM can see the difference in me, and they remind me of it often. I don’t want to brag, but someone recently told me how glad they are when they see me in a meeting – they know that the meeting will be more effective for everyone because I’m there. That’s not the way things were before!
In the business world, so many people are afraid of asking questions for fear of looking stupid. There’s so much focus on feigning competence and confidence, and all that pretense leads to a lot of mistakes down the road. Asking a question is hard because it means admitting you don’t understand everything. People are terrified to do that.
The Orgasmic Meditation practice has taught me that there is tremendous power in being teachable, in not knowing the answer – so I’m the one who takes the risk and asks questions that others won’t dare ask. That’s made me popular with my colleagues because I take the heat off them, making me feel more effective in my work. Everything, absolutely everything, is connected. And I see that, and I love that now.
