To understand my world before Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I must tell you that I grew up in Venezuela. I don’t want to get political, but the situation in my home country went from bad to worse throughout my growing up. Crime was rampant, and my city had one of the highest crime rates in the Western Hemisphere. As a result, my parents were extremely protective. I had few friends because I was rarely allowed to leave the house. Whenever I asked permission to see someone, my father would say, “Haven’t you read the news? It’s not safe.” I spent a lot of my teenage years alone in my room.
Years later, as an adult working in London, I was still haunted by that upbringing. I wasn’t scared to walk the streets, but I carried a shyness and an awkwardness as a relic of how I’d been raised. I had a good job, but I had no friends. I couldn’t connect with people. I could go to parties, drink, and chat, but that was as far as it went. I really wanted to meet women, but I had no luck.
I got desperate enough that I got into a thing called “pickup artistry.” You read these books and watch these videos and hire these coaches, and they teach you how to approach women on the street. It was very popular, and they made it look so simple. It was just like a mathematical equation; they promised if you did things in the right sequence, women would want to go out with you. I was awful at it. I failed horribly. Part of the reason was that I didn’t like anything about it. The coaches kept wanting me to review scripts so that when a woman said A, I could say B. I didn’t want something so mechanical and disconnected.
I knew there had to be something else.
When I came across Orgasmic Meditation on the internet, it sounded more like what I was looking for an intimate experience with a connection at the root of it. I signed up for a workshop and was intrigued, but my first actual Orgasmic Meditation experience started as a total disaster. When I tried to position myself in the nest, I fell over. I broke the first pair and the second when I tried to get the gloves on. I started to sweat profusely and kept apologizing. The woman I was with was as chill as could be. “It’s okay,” she said repeatedly, and I could tell she meant it.
It didn’t get better when we started. I couldn’t find the clitoris; I had no clue where it was. Over 10 minutes later, I finally found the spot and felt the rhythm of the stroke, and then it was done. I was still sweating and panicked that I was doing everything wrong. It wasn’t until I got out of the nest that I felt heat in my left leg. It wasn’t like a cramp or if my leg had gone to sleep. It was the opposite; my leg felt warm, tingling, full of sensation. I thought to myself, This is super weird. Why am I having so much sensation? There must be something happening here. And that’s why I came back, despite the clumsiness of that first OM experience.
The more I practiced, the more sensation in my body I began to feel. Every time I OM, it’s like a shot of electricity that ignites my body. I feel more joy and more calmness. It took me a while, but I realized that my sensations directly resulted from my receptivity towards the adjustments women gave me. The more I responded to their requests, the more attuned I felt – and the more alive my body became. It was everything that pickup artistry wasn’t – it wasn’t just this series of rote scripts; it was a real-time connection that began with the body and spread everywhere.
I began to feel my body connected to the body of my OM partner. It wasn’t an intellectual thing. I wasn’t worrying about what to say or what they were thinking about me. I could get out of my head by focusing on what I was feeling at the point of connection, and the more I focused, the more I felt. It was as if our two bodies were feeling the same thing. That shared feeling is what allowed me to understand women. No book or video could teach me that.
I finally started being able to date. I could respond to what women were telling me. I don’t want to say I became a mind-reader because it’s not about minds. It’s about connecting to a woman and making that connection without expectations. I can be playful. That’s a big one; before I came to Orgasmic Meditation (OM), I was shy and painfully serious around women. It’s amazing how much that’s changed.
My friendships have changed as well. I am not patient with small talk, and maybe I never will be, but that’s okay. Instead, I have a few really good connections with men and women I trust and like, and I know they trust and like me. This practice doesn’t just improve things with the people who practice with you; it impacts every relationship you have.
What I’ve come to appreciate most about Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is that there are no expectations. You get settled in the nest, you OM, feel your sensations, and then leave. There’s no confusion or awkwardness. It’s just two people doing this practice together. The practice is enough.
