Before I found the Orgasmic Meditation (OM) practice, I was in perpetual denial when it came to feeling my own feelings. You could say I was all left-brain, logical, rational mind, and completely detached from my feelings and my body. I was so inside my head and my brain and disconnected from my emotions and my body that it eventually got to the point where it blew up my marriage.
Suddenly, I had to pay attention to what I had been avoiding. I had not been faithful in my marriage, and its ending wasn’t great. I guess you could say I just wasn’t present in a conscious way through the marriage itself, especially through its demise. I knew I wanted to get out of the marriage and that it wasn’t working, but I had no idea how, so I just let it happen unconsciously.
With my marriage ending, I felt unanchored, unmoored, like I was just strolling around, aimless and without purpose. I didn’t know who I was or how to act, and I had to find myself all over again. The loss of the marriage was a kind of loss of identity, so I had to focus on discovering who I was on my own.
A few months after that, I found Orgasmic Meditation. Before this practice, I had always had such difficulties connecting with people, let alone myself, and relating to them emotionally because that required feeling. I wasn’t very good at that. Once I got into the practice, I realized I could relate much better to new people, approaching and meeting them right where they were at, with fewer mental expectations and fears, especially with women. It allowed me to feel more open and able to relate more personally.
As I did more of the practice, I began to feel connected to and be more present in my body, and I felt like I had more clarity. I felt more centered, more in touch with, and able to feel my feelings. I also found that when I talked to people, especially if meeting them for the first time, I could say what I was thinking and stay engaged. I could stay in my body enough to lessen the trepidation of relating to someone new. It opened up my ability to communicate.
The initial change for me was like a big boom. It was immediate and dramatic, and the shift changed so many positive things in my life. After that initial shift, the growth I experienced from Orgasmic Meditation continued steadily as time went on. As with life, I experienced more big booms and shifts that would happen as I progressed, especially when I was confronted with a particularly challenging situation. Now, I was more in tune with myself and how I felt, and I had these new skills to help me get through it, leading to even more growth.
One of my most memorable and defining experiences in an OM was when I suddenly felt floating in the middle of the ocean with someone I was OMing with. We were both kind of surprised by what was happening and what we were both feeling. We laughed at the unexpected humor of it, the realization that we were these two people having this shared experience where we could totally and completely lose ourselves and yet laugh about it at the same time.
I thought at first that this was such a sacred thing, doing OM, that there couldn’t possibly be any room for humor in it and that it would lessen the importance and impact of the practice. But that is not the case, and because of this, you get to experience and feel both the profaneness and the profoundness of it, and you get to do it with another human being you feel connected with.
Though I am not currently practicing, Orgasmic Meditation (OM) has undoubtedly been a big part of my life over the last two to three years, and I will always be a part of it.
