I was a workaholic until I ran flat out of energy and spent seven years in bed, suffering from intense migraines. I had moved from Miami to San Francisco to take a job raising $38 million to build a new major facility. It was an exciting time. I always thought I was going to be a poor artist, and now I was on track to earning real money. I went to a triathlon club meeting, making plans to train for my second triathlon. Then, the migraines started. A month later, I couldn't make it to the second club meeting. That's how fast I got sick.
Doctors told me I would never work again, which was a shock for a workaholic who was willing to move across the country by herself to take a job. I had smacked into a wall and was in a state of terror. How was I going to pay my bills? Would I end up living under a bridge? I was trying to claw my way back to a job two years in.
I got a chance to interview for my dream job, Director of Development with a large non-profit in my field. I blew the executive director's mind at my first interview, but the morning of the callback, I woke up with an exploding migraine. I went anyway and bombed the interview so badly that I never tried again to get a full-time job.
I decided I couldn't live with the terror anymore. So I just let go and lay in bed most of the time. Gifts arrived along the way. Somehow, I managed not to end up homeless. A Reiki practitioner was helpful. I tried sound healing, and it felt so positive I managed to take a course in it. Hormone treatment was starting to show promise. Then, I was invited to an all-day Thanksgiving dinner, which meant I could show up whenever I wanted. I rarely went to events, but the flexibility was reassuring.
After dinner, a woman started talking to me about Orgasmic Meditation (OM). I had never heard of it before and pinned her to the chair with question after question. I had always thought of the clitoris as something to do with sex, as opposed to being a way to explore my body or my relationship with another person. And I thought sex was about pleasing my partner. But she was talking about it all in a way I'd never heard it discussed. I didn't understand it, but it was so intriguing that I just had to know more.
My favorite word in the English language is “enthusiasm.” Someone once told me that enthusiasm means “filled with God.” “Inspired” means “filled with breath.” So, whenever I felt inspiration or enthusiasm, I noticed. These feelings drew me to Orgasmic Meditation. In my first OM session, I didn't really feel anything. When other women described sensations from their sessions, I was excited that they'd had these experiences. It was kind of uncomfortable for me, but I thought I'd be brave enough to try it, and I kept going.
My fourth OM was memorable. The stroker had been touching my clitoris, and then a moment came when I realized his finger was no longer on my clitoris but hovering just above it, and my body had shifted into a state of awakened vibration. My whole body was alive as if a switch had been turned on. I'd never thought of myself as dead, but after years of lying in bed, lonely and listless, I did have doubts about whether I was truly alive. And then suddenly I was plugged into this electricity. That such a current of pure energy could come from a simple stroke—that was profound.
Several men became my regular Orgasmic Meditation (OM) partners for the next few months, and I got very close with those guys. As we explored our OMs, I developed a sense of connection to my body and the world. One day, I entered a coffee shop around the corner, and the man at the counter said, “Hi, do you live around here? I've never seen you before.” I had been in there many times, and finally, people had started to see me.
I grew up with a lot of violence, alcoholism, and addiction and spent much of my life dissociated. Six months before, the Reiki practitioner had told me, “You're about six feet outside of your body at all times.” So, I had a long way to go. Orgasmic Meditation succeeded in joining my spirit to my body.
There was so much trauma stored up in me, and Orgasmic Meditation (OM) provided a place to work on letting it go. I could experiment and practice, trying things without any particular destination. Over time, I became able to hold my power. Now, I'm a business coach, and Orgasmic Meditation helps me work with clients. They don't know anything about my OM practice, but I always focus on what's happening in my body as I listen to them.
I used to see a lot when I looked out at the world, but I couldn't actually say what I saw. Through the framing step at the end of each OM session, I learned how to name the sensations happening in my body. This skill allows me to be an authentic mirror to people, helping them name stuff so they can let go of it.
In an Orgasmic Meditation, the strokee gets to make requests and adjust the stroke —a little more or less pressure, for instance. It sounds pretty simple, but it's not when you have no connection to your voice. I might talk a lot, but I’m unable to express what I desire. Making requests came gradually and helped me find my voice. OM—Orgasmic Meditation made it possible for me to accomplish the dream of running my own business. As a coach, I'm doing only what I want to do all day, using my gifts to their full extent.
