I’d wake up, and my first thought would be, ‘I don’t want to get out of bed.’ I’d feel this intense anxiety pushing on my body. Life felt too big, too much to get up. Every morning, I felt anxiety, a feeling of not being enough in every way. I felt I didn’t have what it took to satisfy a woman. I wasn’t enough physically or in any other aspect of connecting with another human. I had to escape those thoughts to distract myself from the constant discomfort of getting out of bed and functioning. At the time, I was closed off to the idea that connection with a woman was possible. I felt very much in the throes of depression. It was hard just to be.
When one of my best friends told me about a practice that involved stroking women’s genitals, I was hesitant. He described the practice to me as an exchange of palpable, otherworldly, and true energy. I couldn’t resist. My mind opened enough to stick with the Orgasmic Meditation practice for at least a month, do it consistently, and see what was there for me.
After about my 20th OM, I felt a total night-and-day change. I began waking up, feeling a serenity wash over my body. It shocked me because I wasn’t waking up with the typical anxiety of not being enough. After a couple of weeks of this, my anxiety shifted to a calm feeling over everything!
I reflected on the Orgasmic Meditation practice and started breaking it down, moment by moment. I saw myself in the nest with my OM partner, stroking her clitoris for 15 minutes. In the span of an OM, I was paying full attention to her system and the slightest reaction to the pressure or placement of my stroking finger. I noticed I couldn’t think of any other places in my life where I had that kind of focus, where everything else disappeared into the background, and the only thing in front of me was what I was doing. I was doing something with my full attention for the first time.
Because of stroking, I became so eager to just listen to what was happening in my daily interactions. I became a more sensitive person solely from doing that, sensitive to hearing another person—not to what they say or how they say it, but by feeling. There was a new space I allowed into my life, and that space was pure silence. Orgasmic Meditation brought so many benefits into my life. I cared a lot more about what someone next to me felt. I recognized the power of hearing them, getting curious about them, and connecting deeply with them. I see the world through a very different lens now.
One evening, after I left an OM, I started laughing uncontrollably as I walked down the street. I was overflowing with positivity, joy, and a feeling of empowerment. Tapping into this feeling of power is now a tool I use to color my life. I want more in my life, and Orgasmic Meditation has shown me that I can achieve much more. I thank God that Orgasmic Meditation came into my life as a practice I still carry. The amount of growth possible with this practice is limitless.
