Before coming to Orgasmic Meditation, my life was the same every day, like the movie Groundhog Day, endlessly repeating.
It wasn’t a bad life. I had a good family life with a wife and three kids, and there was love between all of us. My regular job, though it was routine, was with a great team. I had to put in my hours somewhere between seven a.m. and six p.m. and could work four days a week. And I had five or six weeks of vacation every year. So I had a little bit of freedom. But when you really look at it, that's not so much.
I couldn’t decide what was good for me. I had difficulty expressing what I wanted. Simple things, like a friend inviting me out to have drinks with others at a bar. I couldn’t be honest and say, “I want to see my friends but don’t want to go to a bar. Let’s go to a quieter place.” I just couldn’t find the words.
It was like I didn't have control of the steering wheel of my life. Someone was always pulling on it, steering me in a direction that just wasn’t quite my path. And it took a lot of energy for me to constantly force myself to go in a direction I wasn’t even sure of. All I knew was that inside, a very deep spiritual being was looking for a connection to something deeper, and I needed space for that.
Even though I didn’t know what I would do afterward, for my 40th birthday, I gave notice at my job. About a month after that, a friend who had actually talked to me about Orgasmic Meditation a couple of years previously (it just never caught my attention for some reason) brought the subject back up. I was enthusiastic about it this time and agreed to attend an introductory weekend in a couple of weeks. My wife and I did communicate quite well, and I talked to her about it. It shook her slightly, but she knew something was missing from me, so she accepted it.
The first thing that happened that weekend was that I met a guy in my line of business who ended up hiring me. I had a new job! Funny how things like that happen. I actually didn’t do my first OM - Orgasmic Meditation until the following weekend. I didn’t know the woman who had said yes to being my strokee, but I was okay with that. When we started OMing, I was quite scared inside and slightly shaky. For some reason, I had a hard time finding her clitoris. We all have different anatomies! She made adjustments every 30 seconds throughout the whole practice.
That actually ended up being quite a beautiful experience. She didn’t get angry or impatient or come across as judging me at all. Her attitude really helped me to adjust each time and focus on that. So we had this very clear communication, and I was still trying and adjusting. There was something very powerful for me in knowing I was trying and that there were no judgments—just two people observing what was happening and communicating about it. In the end, I was filled with lots of gratitude.
I did a second OM with another woman shortly after that first one, and it was super smooth with no adjustments. I could feel a connection and more of an orgasmic state, with a tingling in my body. Right after the OM, I left to work at my old job to give a presentation. I was running late and had to rush there, but the presentation I gave was the best presentation of my life. Even during discussions with all these managers and the company's vice president, I was very focused. My manager was super happy with me. I couldn’t tell her that I’d just been doing the Orgasmic Meditation practice that was already teaching me how to deal better with my fears by simply observing and focusing and being more in touch with my feelings!
After that, I started OMing regularly, often twice or thrice a week. My wife started OMing, too, and we soon began practicing with other people. The whole container was actually great and an amazing source of learning for me—although I was often uncomfortable with the frame and the end part. It bothered me during the OM, trying to think, “Oh, what am I going to share at the end?” Eventually, I learned not to think about it during the session, allowing myself to arrive at the end and share whatever had come up. Whether it was as simple as an itch on my knee at one point or something more interesting, I realized what's important is really connecting with whatever the thought or sensation is and just trying to put words to that.
Every OM - Orgasmic Meditation is very different. That's one thing about the practice that I find very powerful. It’s taught me that arriving at anything with expectations actually does not help with connection. I’m better at observing the expectations and seeing what's happening in my mind and how I’m trying to control the future. And then what's beautiful about the practice is that you have a period of time that’s very quiet within which to experience intimacy. And it gets intimate quite fast! Which can shake you up a little bit.
Orgasmic Meditation opens many doors. It’s helped me be more centered and aware. I’m clear on what I want, what I desire, and what I need to be fulfilled. I’m also more subtle in how I read my feelings and desires.
It’s incredible to be in a practice that’s not a mental process, where it’s all about connecting with the feelings coming up and having the external movements harmonize with what's happening inside. Learning to respond to adjustments is so important. Adjustments happen every day in our lives, and I’ve learned to be conscious if I’m resisting an adjustment. Resistance doesn’t help anything. I’ve learned to listen and to stay connected through all the changes life offers me.
