I came to Orgasmic Meditation (OM) at the tail end of a difficult marriage. I’d been married to my husband for over ten years, and he had changed me – not for the better. My ex was controlling, and I had become controlling as well. I didn’t recognize who I had become, and I wouldn’t say I liked it. I knew it wasn’t just his fault; I had something I needed to shift in me. Leaving him wouldn’t be enough to get me to be the person I needed to be, but it was a start.
I spent a lot of time on practices that would uplift my consciousness and help me to help others. I went through a program called the sage method and ran my business according to those principles. After the divorce, I needed to find somewhere new for my son and me to live and thrive, and we chose Austin, Texas, as I figured I’d meet many like-minded people there. It was a bit of a tough adjustment, and I was still struggling emotionally. The aftereffects of all that anger and criticism in my marriage had left me repressed, tense, defensive, and critical.
I’d heard of Orgasmic Meditation (OM) back in New York and even went to an introductory seminar but hadn’t followed up. Some of my new friends were practicing, and they urged me to try it again. I went to a women's group -- and the leadership blew me away. I'd been leading workshops with other female leaders for years, but the competence and power I saw here were at another level. There are a lot of seminar systems out there that promise to tap into your potential, but there aren’t many where this kind of transmission is really conducted. You could feel the current flowing in a way through the room.
There wasn’t a lot of nuance in my first few OMs. I had a lot of repressed sexual energy, and I was so eager to be touched. I was more focused on getting that orgasm than the meditation. I let myself be in that place, and the people stroking me met me where I was. I wanted to be stroked and not interfered with, and the strokers gave me that. Now, there’s so much more sensation and so much more subtlety.
I know my stroker, and I am going into this experience together, and we each want the other to enjoy it as much as possible. I own my orgasm rather than waiting for someone else to make it happen for me, and as a result, I can have so much more of a human connection with other people.
As I opened up to the full set of possibilities that Orgasmic Meditation offers, I started to have some extraordinary experiences while practicing. I remember one time hearing hoof beats and then a vision of men on horseback burning my village. It was so vivid and came from so deep inside of me that I screamed aloud – and my stroker kept right on stroking, carrying me through this vision. I later realized I was having a flashback to something my ancestors had experienced. It sounds crazy, but I experienced it – and on behalf of my ancestors, released some of that pain.
On other occasions, I’ve had OMs where my pelvis and my back felt like they melted into the ground. I remember times when my clitoris had gotten soft and full, almost like a sponge that’s soaked up liquid. Maybe most importantly, I have these OMs where the channel up to my throat has opened wide. My voice is connected to my genitals and the deepest part of my body. The capacity to speak my truth rests on that conduit being wide open. At other times, my clitoris has grown red, hot, and angry – and I can feel the rage swelling between my legs. That rage is metabolized in orgasm rather than being reabsorbed back into the body. Each OM gets me the clearing and growth I need.
The benefits of all this work don’t just manifest in the nest. That opening in my throat has manifested in my ability to ask for help without being paralyzed by the fear of imposing on others. A few months ago, I had to move suddenly. It was awkward timing, as I was doing some training on the weekend, and I needed to leave my apartment. I could never have done this before, but I contacted people I knew through Orgasmic Meditation, asking for assistance.
People came. People showed up, and they made it fun, and I didn’t feel embarrassed that I needed help. That feeling of constantly stifling myself or playing small to avoid conflict is gone. To the extent that it’s still there in my life, OM works to keep me from closing up that channel between my core truth and communicating it.
Orgasmic Meditation showed me how much it's possible to shift consciousness. It has also made me way more tolerant of things. OM is a practice that makes a difference for people. I’ve become so much more understanding and patient. You can ask my son about that; he knew me at my most critical and controlling. He’s an adult now, and our relationship is much better than I hoped. I accept him where he is. The old me would have worried about him or judged him. I know his process is his, and it’s not my place to judge. Orgasmic Meditation removes that anxious need to control, allowing for infinitely better connections with other people – even if they have no idea why.
In the last year, I’ve had fewer opportunities to OM. That’s been challenging but less than I feared. It turns out that the work endures – I still can tap back into all the energy I created and released in past OMs. It’s still there for me, and I’m sustained by it. That’s very reassuring.
