Eros Platform logo

Calm and Expansive

by Avery Young

My mom was always open about sexuality. When I was a kid, she would talk about how sex was a really loving and magical experience. From books and movies, I have also seen people having really beautiful experiences of love in their sex. I saw them having connection and openness with each other, receiving and seeing each other. There was expansion and vulnerability. I knew I wanted all of this.

Disillusionment in Young Adulthood

As I grew into a young adult, however, I didn’t feel that magical way in sex. Sex was painful, dry, penetrating, hurtful. It hurt physically. I felt insecure; I felt self-doubt. I had low self-worth. I couldn’t figure out how to make the bridge between this experience of sex and the magical experience I so longed for. 

I had a boyfriend for two years, and I remember feeling as though I was just having sex with him to be a good girlfriend. I would sometimes have orgasms, but mostly I didn’t even know what was going on down there. I never touched myself. I told myself women didn’t really like sex and decided this was normal. 

The Turning Point & Orgasmic Meditation

When an acupuncturist called me frigid, it was literally the most painful insult anyone had ever given me. Then, my boyfriend cheated on me while on a business trip. With a vengeance, I determined to become a sensual woman and dove into understanding my body and how it worked. 

This was the hunger that was waiting to be filled when I found Orgasmic Meditation. Initially, when a friend invited me to an Orgasmic Meditation (OM) event on Facebook, I ignored it. A year later, however, and with my new mission, I went to a lecture and discovered that Orgasmic Meditation was exactly what I’d wanted.

At the event, an OM instructor gave a lecture. She was totally confident and sensual. I knew she had something I wanted.  As I listened, I felt something waking up in me. I wanted to learn to OM immediately. 

I was nervous when I had my first OM. I opened my legs, and I didn’t feel much. I was calm. It felt more like being at the gynecologist than a meditation.

Calm And Expansive

As I continued my practice, my Orgasmic Meditation experience deepened. I often felt calm and expansive, and a sensation like breath moving through my limbs, my body, my genitals, my labia and swelling them just slightly. I remember a moment when I felt the finger of the stroker gently touching me and with so much awareness for my well-being. It didn’t have to be anything else other than that moment. It was so subtle. My head went quiet. Most of my OMs were quiet experiences like this. 

When I spoke with that confident OM trainer after her lecture, she told me that her desire changes quickly and that every woman’s desire changes and moves. I had no idea what she was talking about. I had no idea what I even wanted. This is why asking for adjustments was very hard at first. I’d ask for a little less pressure, but that wasn’t really what I wanted. I wanted more adjustments, but I’d never say it. I had already made my request, and that was enough. Getting to a place where I was actually teaching people how little pressure I wanted—and even just realizing how little pressure I wanted in the first place—was significant. 

Overcoming Body Shame Through OM

Like most women I know, I felt shame about my body. The grounding and noticing steps—where the stroker places their hands on my thighs to ground us together and offers a value-neutral description of my genitals—helped me connect to something bigger than my shame. Over time, I began to feel less ashamed about my body.  Orgasmic Meditation helped me to change my relationship with my body and my genitals completely.

OMing is about sensation, so it doesn’t matter if my belly is a little tubbier that day or not. As a woman, this felt so significant. It is insane how much I worried about how I looked. I used to spend so much time thinking about it! I could never just relax, surrender, and be seen without worrying whether the man was judging my body. 

Orgasmic Meditation (OM) has brought me into my body in a powerful way. In a recent OM, I felt such a peacefulness, expansion, and soft, tingly pleasure in my clitoris and labia area. It was as though if my genitals could talk, they would sigh and say, “Ahh, this is what I’ve been wanting.” My heart and body were so open, there was no barrier. All this expansion, all this connection, all this vulnerability… it was magical.

Related Stories
Restoring My Sensitivity
by Jo
I had been abstinent for about a month when I came across Orgasmic Meditation. I had grown tired of the nightclubs, of the drug... see more
3 min Read
Pain Doesn’t Mean Bad
by Edwina Finch
I found an advert for Orgasmic Meditation on a spiritual singles website in 2012, and I knew I wanted to try the practice. I ju... see more
4 min Read
Sovereign Over My Body
by Amelia
Before Orgasmic Meditation, I often felt as though I was performing in my relationships. I endlessly worried about the other pe... see more
4 min Read
Like A Queen On Her Throne
by Madalyn
Like so many girls growing up Catholic, I heard my mom say that sex was bad—a lot—especially if you’re a girl who likes girls. ... see more
5 min Read
My Body Came Back to Life
by Linghong
Before I found OM - Orgasmic Meditation, I always felt a hunger. I grew up in China, in a culture where children were supposed ... see more
5 min Read
I Learned To Express My Desire
by Iris Karimova
I had been in a relationship for four unhappy years. My partner was distant, and I struggled to ask for what I wanted. The whol... see more
5 min Read
Everything In My Life Feels More Alive
by Georgia Haughton
I remember the exact time I first heard about Orgasmic Meditation. My friend told me there was a practice in which you could ge... see more
6 min Read
The Power to Cut Through Social Conditioning
by Patricia
I grew up in a traditional Catholic family–my dad went to work, and my mom was a housewife, raising three kids. The idea that m... see more
5 min Read