As we enter the Erotic realm, we find the rules of the above, the masculine world of appearances, do not apply. There are no paved roads or traffic lights, only dirt paths. There are no contracts or paperwork to sign. There are nods and handshakes. The rules of the above have no jurisdiction. And yet, here in the Erotic is where everything is actually happening. It's where boundaries are established, where agreements are made, where the give-and-take of energy occurs.
In the world of the above, the best we can do is make guesses about how we will behave and what we've really agreed on. The Erotic realm is navigated not with a map but a compass. We must rely on our wits and our felt sense to guide us. We listen for the wisdom and knowing Eros offers, should we be open to hearing it.
Boundaries in the Erotic function more like distinctions than contracts. They outline behavior, commitment, and relationship, with the understanding that they can, and will, shift. It is the nature of the Erotic to evolve, to ebb and flow. What was true one minute may not be true the next. Boundaries are a way to describe our agreements with ourselves and others so we can navigate the world in this moment.
Boundaries also serve as guidelines for how we relate to our internal and external environments and the choices we make therein. Where do we begin and others end? What are our roles and responsibilities to one another and to ourselves? What kinds of offers or agreements have we made for how we will show up? What kinds of access to our time, energy, and resources do we offer and why? What do we do when someone asks more of us than we feel is appropriate? How much are we contributing and where do we overspend?
As we work with Erotic boundaries, our understanding deepens and we learn to live in the palpable, visceral, and unknowable arena where real life happens.