The most empowering thing you can do today as a woman is to detox from the story of your powerlessness which in a fit of insanity, women around the world adopted from men who aimed to keep us as children. We doubled down on our child’s status, exchanging positive attention for freedom.
In the most successful propaganda ever: women not only adopted but passionately colluded with, bought into, created and protected the ideas that keep our inferior status. In other words, the more powerful sex, used her power to secure her second class status.
You must learn to see it, like Medusa’s tendrils in all its forms.
Put everything against the concept; if I am the more powerful sex, how can this be.
Start with the idea of coercion, manipulation, gaslighting. Unless there is a first time threat of violence (the second time it becomes a choice) you are consenting to your experience. That is if you are an adult and not mentally compromised. All adult women in possession of their faculties, must deliberately disable their gut sense if they are to be tricked or duped or “brain washed.” She does this in service not to the other (most often a man) but to her own addiction to dependency; the need to be liked, validated, have proximal power, to be “loved”, to have security, for companionship and the idea that you can only get it one way. That way, most often being by selling yourself out rather than doing hard work. Or, trying to find happiness according to male metrics and not developing and practicing your own.
Name the culprit. Blaming men is like blaming alcohol for making you a drunk. The cannot do anything to you that you do not allow, endorse, and as with the cases with most women, train them to do. Our inaction trains them as much as our action. As they say in yoga, every time you allow your chest to cave in, you are training the muscles into weakness. You must deliberately work them in the opposite direction.
So then, stop. Look at everything you blame for your experience, everything you blame for “women’s” experience. All the places where you say that a man is doing this to you, or men do this to women.
Rewrite it. You are the more powerful sex. Rewrite it from the position of the person who allowed, invited, attracted and often trained a man or men to be that way.
The collective of women who have not drawn in the shadow of their power in this way makes up what we call the patriarchy. That large looming cloud is women’s disowned power.
He made you do it
He forced you to do it He controlled you into doing it
He “dominated* you into doing it
He gaslit you into doing it
He lovebombed you into doing it
He seduced you into doing it
He flattered you into doing it
He emotionally abused you into doing it
(Again, if you are not under the threat of physical violence which is real and you should get out immediately, these are all co-created experiences)
Reclaim your real power.
To do so, you must insert your motivations and drives into the equation. Your perceptions of what you would get.
What did you want so much that you were wiling to ignore your what deep inside you knew?
Find it. Admit it. Name it. That is your abuser. That is what gaslights you and tells you no, even though he didn’t call he wants you. That is what seduces you and tells you that if you abandon yourself, he will love you. That is what controls you and tells you that if you do the work for both of you, you will get security. That is what forces you to keep your mouth shut when you do not like what is happening. That is what makes you people please and build resentment when you can’t stand what is going on. That is what makes you sell your soul for one compliment, one seat at the table, one moment of feeling special, one feeling better than others after so long of feeling less than. That is what makes you deny the sources of your power in order to not offend, to reject your ownership of your desire, creativity and sexuality.
There is no “him” only your response to him. You need to understand the stories women tell time and again about men making them do something are the means by which we give our power away.
Change that, change your response to the urgent need for validation, the one you can only get from plugging into your own power-Eros and creativity- and no one or no thing has sway over you. You stop trying to fix your hair by taking a brush to the mirror.
Lack of power was the cause of all of our dilemmas.
If you do not want to ever be intimidated by any man again. If in fact you want to take your seat as that which steers and guides the world, this is the one and only process of getting sober.
Stand up. Get free today.
